Every family that is at least somewhat proud of its composition takes a photo every now and again for posterity or to send out before Christmas. So far, so good. But whatever was going on in the heads of these 27 related tribes, as they grin into the camera, must really be explained to me. My speculation station (that’s my brain) is really overpacked.

1. The breastfeeding theme is pretty topical at the moment. In fact…
2. What was for dinner yesterday? Oh wait, I got it.
3. Shortly after the home birth in the inflatable pool: smile at the camera! And this is only #3!
4. I’m sure the 3-pack was much cheaper. But that doesn’t mean better. The poor dog…
5. Well, who wears the pants here!?
6. My head is full of questions. You too?
7. Weddings of the particularly disturbing kind. Can someone explain this to me?
8. Bon app├ętit!
9. What the …?!?
10. What’s wrong with THIS dad?
11. Season's Greetings from the Voorhees family!
12. CSI Miami fan level: over 9,000.
13. Even after staring at this picture for 5 minutes I still don’t get it. I think I’ll summarize: WHAT THE …???
14. These t-shirts were on sale. 6-pack for 18 dollars! Who can say NO to that?!? Molly’s the one in the middle. She must be having problems expressing her enthusiasm about the deal.
15. “Yeah, this somewhat decrepit looking bridge is perfect for a beautiful … WAHHHHH!”
16. It’s always good when roles are distributed fairly in the family.
17. Further proof for the theory that scarves are a subjective thing. Clearly!
18. It was such a beautiful evening with the family. But Jeff really seems to be missing something in his head. Maybe it’s somewhere a bit lower…
19. Hoopla! Time to dish up the background info on this photo. I’m waiting with bated breath…
20. A whiff of too much love and affection. If you’re out of air, just whistle!
21. I don’t know either!
22. “Ah, that picture is so cute. It’s going in the photo album. Er, wait…”
23. If looks could kill this kid should be kept far away from all turkey farms.
24. There are some traumatic experiences over the course of your life. Seeing your dad in a mankini is surely one of them.
25. The spitting image! Especially Dorothy.
26. Afterwards Johnny, 3rd cousin on the mother’s side, was never invited to another family reunion. I think I understand why…
27. This is how legends are made: “My parents told us back then, that our brother turned into a mushroom because he never wanted to take a bath. He even got half a page in the photo album."
These snapshots have a helpful side effect: suddenly, my own disaster of a family seems like a model family. A bit like a few episodes of “Malcolm in the Middle.” If you get what I mean…
Share these terrifyingly nice family photos with your friends and all others. Just as a reminder that a “normal family” is totally subjective! ;)


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