A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him “very quick.”
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?”
Man: “YA, YA, acre and half and nice little home.”
Lawyer: “No,” I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
Man: “It made of concrete.”
Lawyer: “Does either of you have a real grudge?”
Man: “No, we have carport, and not need one.”
Lawyer: “I mean, what are your relations like?”
Man: “All my relations still in Poland.”
Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
Man: “Ya, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.”
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?”
Man: “No, I always up before her.”
Lawyer: “WHY do you want this divorce?”
Man: “She going to kill me.”
Lawyer: “What makes you think that?”
Man: “I got proof.
Lawyer: “What kind of proof?”
Man: “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says, “Polish Remover.”


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