People don't always do the best they can or live up to our expectations of them. Romantic partners, family members, and friends are all in a position to let us down, or fracture our trust and reliance on them. Try to realize it hurts so much because we acknowledge their potential and how much we care about them.
Moving past mistakes and rebuilding trust, is a process that can take a long time and a lot of effort. Instead of shutting down emotionally, here are some things to keep in mind as you attempt to rebuild trust.
Look At The Bigger Picture
A broad and varied perspective is necessary to discern between minor breaches and major breaches of trust. Some one cheating on you has a different effect than them being late to dinner. It is up to you to weigh the importance of their actions and how you choose to react.
Take what they have to say into consideration. Listen to them fairly. try to step back and look at the situation as a whole. How emotional are you right now? Are you able to be intellectually and emotionally discerning? Do you believe their side of the story?
Don't Undermine Your Self Worth In This Process
To be forgiving, isn't to be stupid or weak. Don't let your understanding and compassion to be used against you. If a person continues to abuse your trust, you need to look at the pattern, their motives and the effects on you. We all make mistakes. The way we limit the effects of our mistakes is by learning and acknowledging those choices for what they are. It's ok to admit that forgiving someone and leaving them to influence us was a mistake.
Don't Bring Up The Past
If the two of you have decided to move forward and repair your relationship, then you need to be ready to dedicate yourself to this path. You don't have to forget but part of forgiving means that you don't use the past to harm the other person or give yourself an advantage in negotiations.
Say How You Feel
Don't wait for them to bring up something that is bugging you. Be proactive about your feelings and fears. Address what is bothering you. Step back and understand what it means to your relationship and to you. After you have taken some time to mull it over bring it to the other person's attention.