1. She takes care of you even when she's away.
2. She speaks your language.
3. Beer, pizza, and boobs are all you need.
4. When she's not afraid to troll you.
5. So Cosmo does have a purpose after all!
6. I'd say 'wife her', but...
7. The perfect girlfriend always knows how to cheer you up.
8. When she does this.
9. When she wins a Ducati and gives it to you as a gift.
10. She's willing to go the extra mile.
11. This sounds like an awesome plan.
12. What's that about donuts?
13. She knows just what kind of cake you'd like.